In our initial discussion, these two life skills seemed to resonate as pivotal skills. Do you see these in particular as key to helping young children succeed? What happens when they are lacking? How do the environments we work in pull them forward or hold them back?
29 comments:
As I said in the group meeting, I think self-control and empathy defiantly play a huge role in our society! One of our biggest "issues" in schools is bullying. I think empathy plays a HUGE part in bullying! This goes along with the saying "treat others as how you would want to be treated". A child picking on another child has no empathy for that child they are hurting. They do not think about how they are making that other child feel or how they would feel if the roles were reversed.
We live in a busy, rushed, stressful society. I think how we as adults react to situations reflects how children react. If we are quick to react without empathy or with anger that is what the children learn to do. The example given was about someone bumping into someone and dumping a drink, and the first thing I thought when reading this was, "how would I react?". Then I realized, it would depend on what kind of day I was having and what kind of mood I was in. If I was having a great day I would probably say, "no problem accidents happen". Yet, if I was having a stressful day I would probably be quick to react with a not so nice response. I think as an adult I need to take a step back along with a few deep breaths. I need to start taking time to asses situations before reacting right away. I need to work more on empathy for others; maybe the person who spilled my drink was having a horrible day or received horrible news and their mind was else where. Or maybe it was just a pure accident. I could of just as easily spilled someone else's drink and I would hope they would respond nicely and not yell at me or be upset. As an adult I find myself set in my ways and have trouble remembering to work on changing some of these. The longer you do something one way the harder it becomes to change.
These are key skills that children need to learn young. Once they learn how to react to situations it is hard to change behavior as adults. It is important for us to help these young children learn empathy and self-control by being great role models!
Like in the examples in the beginning of the chapter, parents’ and teachers’ response to a situation can play a big part of how people feel about it. When my son was in 7th grade, he had another child constantly trying to knock his books off his desk and steal things, like pencils. When the books fell, people laughed and the cycle continued. This bothered my son and he approached the teacher about it. The teacher said that my son should be more understanding because the other student had issues. My son felt lost because the teacher did not consider his side of the problem. If the teacher and the children had been taught these skills at a younger age, could the outcome have been different? I agree with Kelly that these are important things to teach at a young age and that it’s harder to change as we get older.
Another part of the perspective taking section and the term “hostile attribution bias” in the book really made me think of one of the four year olds in our program. He was described to me as a very unhappy, moody child. He is always accusing others of bringing harm to him. After observing him for a few days, it became clear that things that would not affect others were big events to him. For example, he fell while running and he accused someone of tripping him. Another time, someone’s shoulder brushed against him during clean-up time, and he shouted out, “She hit me!” We make a point to always acknowledge his feelings because he truly feels wronged, and are now trying to get him to see what was going on and what the other child was doing at the time. I don’t think it will be easy but I agree with the book that if he can learn to understand and begin to problem solve, he will have an easier time navigating through life.
One of the ways I feel our center helps to promote empathy and perspective taking is by having the children try and solve their problems without the teacher doing it for them. When another child is upset, we have that child go and talk to the other child who made them upset. We encourage them to express how they are feeling to their classmate, and tell him/her what they didn't like and what he/she can do to make things better to solve the problem. If there is a conflict, the children are encouraged to come up with a solution themselves instead of the teacher deciding. (The teachers do stand by to help facilitate the conversation if needed.) If someone is hurt, the child who caused the injury is asked to help with the first aid that may need to be provided. For example, they would need to go and get ice or a band aid with the injured child and teacher and sit with the child until he/she was feeling better. We use statements like, "Look at his/her face. How do you think he/she is feeling? What do you think you could do to make him/her feel better? What could you do next time to solve the problem instead of hurting your friend?" These steps seem to coincide with Galinksy's steps in her chapter on perspective taking which are 1) identify the problem 2) determine a goal 3)come up with a solution 4)try it out and 5)evaluate outcome. Also research shows that those who understand others have less need to hurt others. Therefore, it is crucial that children learn these problem-solving skills at a very young age. I feel teaching these skills can help to prevent a lot of bullying later on in life.
I feel that perspective taking is one of the most important character traits a person can have. In order to be able to understand a person’s perspective, you need to have good communication skills which include active listening, be able to observe body language including facial expressions and be able to identify and label feelings. It is a very involved skill when you really think about it. When I read Kelly’s response it completely reminded me of a training that we have at the Walker School called TCI (Therapeutic Crisis Intervention). Kelly wrote that how she reacts depends upon her mood. One part of the training is asking 4 questions of yourself and of the child you are working with. The questions start with asking yourself how you are feeling before you deal with a situation. For example, if your morning starts off on the wrong note (spilling your coffee) you need to be able to realize it and check yourself before you get involved with the kids because your mood by influence how you handle certain situations. I find that the better you are at being self-reflective the more success you have with understanding the perspective of others.
Another one of the questions is what does the child feel, need and want. It is a lot easier when you are in a rush to look for a quick fix but it might not necessarily tell you what the core of the problem is. For example if a child takes away a toy from a peer, some people would quickly respond by saying “please give it back” and make the child apologize but if you look a little deeper… the issue maybe that the child does not really want the toy but wants attention from the peer and to play with a peer but he/she may not have the skills to figure out how. It is very possible that he/she might be angry about something completely different and is just trying to get their anger out. Sometimes, I have to slow myself and the kids down to really help them with their social skills it may take a lot more time but it is definitely worth it in the end to see kids be able to actually play together and not just keep repeating – please give the toy back to so and so, etc.
I instantly thought of a boy in our program who started having increased self control issues last summer. He would scream at the children and teachers frequently expressing his feelings but not very appropriately. All of our staff have taken workshops with Jeanine Fitzgerald, a great behavioral consultant, and applied techniques she taught us with this child. Many of the skills we learned parrallel what Galinsky promoted; problem solving and taking anothers perspective. After using these techniques for several months we have noticed that this child is doing much better; using his words, doing conflict resolution with his peers. Yesterday one of the teachers read him the story "David Goes to School." After it was over he asked "How come David is always bad?" The teacher said "Sometimes children don't make the right choice but that doesn't mean he is bad." He said "Remember when I was 4 and I use to be bad? I don't want to be bad. I want to do a good job at school." The teacher said "You have the power of self control." He said "I do" and gave the teacher a hug. Then he said "When I was 4 I didn't like myself, but now I do." He then started telling the other children that he has the power of self control.
There really seems to be a lack of self control in general in the daycare. And also the "hey she pushed me" when she did not. But I will say that the book has lead me to new ways to deal with those situations and I am already having some luck with it. I have even had some luck with one little boy who has shown some aggression and in the past would have said "I did not do that". It amazes me that kids today at the age of 3 or 4 will say, "I don't like you or I don't want to play with you, you are not my friend". Again the book has helped me find ways to approach the subject and have started to see a little difference in their behavior. I also find it very helpful to let the kids know that when they are playing well. "Isn't fun when we can all play together without yelling, etc." I have not brought up the word self control yet. Not sure when I will but know that it is subject to be touched upon soon.
I think teaching children to take someone else's perspective is very important. Often when I see a child grabbing a toy from another I will try to figure out what it is they really want: the toy? a playmate? attention? Then I will try to help the child appropriately get what it is that they need. I like to help them identify what it is that they are feeling (if you name it you can tame it) and then figure out how to deal with that emotion.
I have been the mother on page 72 giving their child the "to do" list with breakfast, ugh! Galinksy's book really makes me take a look around and examine my own perpective of what is really going on.
Family childcare is a unique setting that allows me to help the children develop empathy and perspective just because of the different ages and developmental levels. We can examine a situation (example) and say "why do you think he is crying?" is he hungry/tired/want to be held? (pg.73) The children will come to me and say "the baby is hungry" or "tired" when he is crying, and they are usually right!They have even figured how to communicate with a nonverbal child to help him get what he needs. amazing. The older children love to help the younger ones and take great pride in their abilities.
Today I was at a 4 year old birthday party with my daughter. A child was eating something and the adult running the party was fearful the child was eating something that wasn't edible. She asked the child what he was eating in kind of a frantic way. The child ran from her and began to cry thinking he was being scolded. The child did not know that she was asking him the question because she cared. He thought he was in trouble and didn't want to respond to this person he didn't know. From his perspective, he thought he was in trouble when in fact he really wasn't. Perhaps if the adult had gotten down to his level and gained eye contact-she could have asked the child if he was hungry and at that point what did he have in his mouth...instead of becoming fearful of the adult and running the child may have realized that she cared b/c she was down at his level, had eye contact, and was questioning in a caring way.Perspective taking goes along with the social skills/social thinking...understanding what the function of behaviors are: attention, escape, tangible, sensory-has to do with why a person acts the way he/she may act. By understanding the function of the behavior can help one understand the problem. In this case the adult realized the child ran because he was scared of her-the function was escape. She realized the way she handled herself was not successful and that perhaps she could have acted differently to bring about a different response from him. The goal was to see what he was eating. She realized she needed to problem solve and initate her behavior differently to get to the goal of finding out what he was eating. Ultimately, she reported the problem to the parent and had the parent handle it-which was her problem solving. Jane summarized Galinsky perfectly when she wrote about the 5 steps to perspective taking.
Having taught preschool for the past 24 years, I've seen many cases of challenging children being labeled as "bad" by their classmates. When this occurs, I try and help the other children to see that not all children have yet learned the necessary skills to interact positively and to follow safety rules for the classroom. I ask those children who are calling their classmates "bad", to see if they can help teach their classmates because they have already learned those skills. It makes them feel special and important to know they can be a teacher too. The adult teachers will model the positive ways/approaches the children can use to help the younger, more challenging children. I also find the "children teachers" will sometimes beat the adult teachers to assisting a child who needs extra guidance. They feel very proud to take on that important teacher role. Teaching in a mixed age classrooms allows many of the older children to take on this role. I believe this truly promotes the skill of perspective taking in preschool.
empathy
My children are 2.5 and under. Self Control, Focus and Empathy is an ongoing endeavor. My assistant and I try to step back and watch how the children respond to each other during moments of a loss of Focus or Self Control. We find that MOST times they work out a viable , friendly solution of sharing and caring. The times that do Not work them selves out ,we ask questions about how one child thinks the other is feeling.This question and answer period opens up discussions on many levels.The children find answers about their roles in each of the particular situations , which in turn leads to an understanding of others perspectives as well as their own.
) As I read Focus and self control , found myself applying the signs to a girl I am having concerns with. K is 2 today , bright, alert, but.... I cannot keep her focused nor keep eye contact;
K repeats everything said even if it is heard from a different room
K has sung the ABC song for months but cannot tell you a color no matter how many times it is shown to her. She will just repeat the last thing said.
Hand co ordination is awkward. She has large hands that she uses like "paws" for a lack of a better word and until recently always held them in a dropped down position, almost like they were too heavy.
When eating she Literally PACKS her cheeks and has a full circle of food dropped everywhere.
Saddest of all for me ; ALL the toddlers will not play with her and as time passes this is more prominent. This gives us the opportunity to teach about many social issues to the other children . I have noticed her spacial presence in connection to the others is askew and have taken the suggestions in the book about showing her her space and explaining to the others that she is not pushing or bumping on purpose.
I have called early Intervention but as yet have had the parents co operation even though they do agree with all my observations.
Regarding the issue of focus --
Recently we set up an obstacle course in our classroom for the purposes of providing an exercise in following directions, a time to have fun on a dreary day and an opportunity to evaluate the developmental level of each child’s gross motor skills. The children were ages 2 years, 11 months to 3 years, 10 months. We turned on the music and they were enthusiastically on their way. The final “task” was to jump from one rectangle placed on the floor to another, three times. By the time this activity was losing its appeal, all but two children – including the oldest --had been able (some after I modeled what we meant by “jumping”) to jump successfully from at least one rectangle to another.
Two of the boys were in Batman/Robin mode, as they often are during free play times. Batman‘s inability to focus on just about anything we asked was beginning to concern us. During this activity Batman was enthusiastically galloping along, following his buddy, Robin. It was disconcerting that he, the oldest in the group, seemed unable to complete the jumping task, even with some guidance. It dawned on me that for him, the entire activity was focused on following the person in front of him -- Robin -- which he was doing very successfully. I took his hand, putting space between him and Robin, stood beside him, asked him to put his feet together as mine were, modeled a jump and asked him if he could jump to the next rectangle with both feet together. He jumped all three jumps and galloped off to follow Robin!
Similarly, at our classroom holiday party, Batman, whose words are often unintelligible, had to announce a song by himself as his partner was absent. We had a combination of amusement and amazement as he stepped forward, smiled as he listened to the teacher’s reminder of the words, stood straight, looked ahead at the parents and announced loudly and clearly, “We will now sing “Woo-dolph the Wed-Nosed Weindeer.”
Clearly Batman’s inability to focus threatens to hold him back both because he doesn’t understand what is being asked of him and because he misses instructions and information. In both of these situations, once his attention was engaged, he performed way above expectations. One activity I am planning to do with him is the FIST activity in “Making Connections.” I plan to create cards that will reflect his interests including Super Heroes, alligators, and various types of bears.
Focus:
Suggestion 6: Promote Focus- Select Computer games pg 47
I am a sold believer in PC games that promote learning. My 3rd child enthusiastically played daily educational games. Treasure Math Storm, ages 5-9 Operation Neptune ages 9-14, Math Blaster pre Algebra. He learned a love of math that made a transition to Physics, Chemistry, Calculus 1 and 2 etc.In preschool , spelling challenged all my children. Spelling Blaster took them all over the hump in a fun setting not the mundane drill sessions that lead to boredom and shutdown. As toddlers I introduced reading games and look and find games. Just learning to tackle the mouse at 2 yrs old is a proud accomplishment. I have continued to use these learning tools in my daycare and are viewed by the toddlers as a special, fun treat . I am constantly amazed by how quickly and eager they respond to this type of learning, while it affords the pc player and myself one on one time to share and bond.
Empathy:
While in circle time ,'"M" SUDDENLY projectile vomited not only covering herself but some close neighbors. I'm sure you all have been there at some point but the look on the children's faces of , surprise, shock, fear was the start of quick action by all. The 3 yr olds ran and retrieved cloths for cleanup. They rallied around their playmate with great concern . I was proud of the love and care demonstrated in the time of "emergency" that came so naturally . Do toddlers learn empathy from their environment , a natural instinct, or a little of both? After all was settled I praised them for their help and we talked about how their actions helped "M" not to be scared and to feel better. To make them feel better, we talked about what to do and how it would feel if they get sick .
During my reading on perspective taking, my thoughts go to a kindergartener I have at my Center. He is an only child and interacts quite well with adults. It took me some time to pick up on what was really happening but once I did I couldn’t believe I didn’t see it before. When he interacts with other children I have noticed that he is very sneaky (thus why I didn’t notice right away) and does things just to bother the other children. He will take toys, call them names, push them or anything that will annoy the other child. If the child being bothered stands up for himself or takes the toy back, the Kindergarten will punch, push really hard or retaliate in a way that is very forceful. He will then cry and blame the other child and make it seem like he was only defending himself. Now that I have identified what is really happening, that this kindergartener is not the victim that he is portraying, I need to come up with some strategies to interact with his peers in a positive way.
Perspective taking/empathy: A little boy in my child care used to always yell out "it wasn't me" whenever someone else cried. He could have been in the next room or right next to the child, he would still yell that. Sometimes it was him, but often it was not. We have tried to validate him by pointing out that "you're right, it wasn't you, what do you think happened here?" or by explaining that Sally tripped or the baby is teething. We are still working on perspective taking with him to help him learn that he doesn't have to feel as though he will be blamed for something. On the other hand, when he does do something that we actually witness, we are trying to get him to take the other child's perspective and then "own" his behavior and make amends.
Perspective Taking
As preschool teachers focused on children’s developing social skills, I think we are all excited to see one child helping another. On the first day of school this year we greeted ten children from 2 years, 9 months to 3 years, 8 months. “Jane” was repeating this two-day class as she had joined it midway through last year when she reached 2 years, 9 months. “Dick”, our youngest, still had a toddler’s demeanor and is the tiniest child in our group.
As he began exploring the room, Jane began to take control, showing him around, bringing him toys and talking to him as if he were a baby. It was very sweet and a positive introduction to a world familiar to her but new to him. However, he soon began to rebel. We thanked Jane for being so welcoming and explained that now he wanted to explore the room on his own. She kept referring to Dick as “the baby” and had a hard time grasping the fact that he was old enough to be in her class. She was clearly trying to make him comfortable by anticipating his thoughts (probably remembering how she felt when she first came to school), but she was lacking perhaps the most basic requirement of accurate perspective taking: “assembling our accumulated knowledge of that person.”(p.71) She had no actual knowledge about Dick, who turned out to be very outgoing, cheerful, independent and intellectually advanced. Instead she made assumptions about his perspective of a situation which she had experienced based on his size and cuteness.
We have a young child in our preschool classroom who has been having anxiety with separating from his parents. This child will usually stay near a teacher throughout his day. Sometimes the other children get upset when I allow him to be in the front of the line with a teacher. I try to explain to them that he is very young and missing his mom/dad and therefore needs a little extra teacher help and attention so he won't feel so sad. I have noticed these explanations have helped the other children to take the perspective of this child because now when this little boy is upset, they bring him what they think are his favorite toys and they try to console him by telling him his mom/dad will be here soon. They also give him lot of compliments and praise when he accomplishes a task or is not crying. It's nice to see that young preschool children can actually understand the needs of another child and show empathy to those that are sad. The younger they learn this skill the better. I think learning this skill at such an early age can reduce a lot of bullying later on in the elementary and high school years.
Two years ago we had a group of children who constantly seemed to be in a state of conflict. Someone took someone else’s toy; someone did something ‘on purpose’; someone else would not let another child play with the group; something would happen but nobody did it. I happened to come across an article in Teaching Tolerance magazine that talked about a program called Starting Small. It was free to order the DVD so I did. It was the best thing that I could have done for the children in my program, my staff, and myself. We talk to children about ‘using their words’ but we forget that we have to teach them those words. We use a Peace Table in our classroom. When we see children having a conflict we ask them if they need to go to the Peace Table to work it out. In the beginning of the year we guide them to the peace table and help them talk the problem through; suggesting language to use and facilitating their solutions. By January most of the children have it and the teacher can then just sit and listen to see if they need to help. We also use something called the “I Care” rules which state hands are for helping not for hurting, we listen to what others have to say, and we are responsible for ourselves.
A new baby started in the daycare today. Starting from the moment of the interview last week, they were all over the new child. I know that the newness will ware off soon, but it is still funny that if I need something while taking care of that baby they are always right there to help out. It really is Julie do you need this, Julie do you need that. It is a great opportunty to share with the kids how much I love what you are doing to help me,now lets see if you can use those same help words to help the others around you what you are playing with. Its almost like an hah moment with the kids
Reading chapter Focus and Self Control practically reviewed my understanding of the subject. Some facts were ringing bells from my college class on Exceptional Child Psychology. It was correlation between stress and ability to focus and it was mentioned in the book not on one occasion. The statement “Emotions Drive Our Learning” is so true and essential that on the morning when I see the child entering my classroom with tears, pouting, or clinging to the parent’s leg I know for sure that for a while they will not be able to be with the group.
Similar response recalls the ending of the chapter on Focus and Self Control where Ellen Galinsky mentions the importance of having breaks and rest. Remember Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs from the Introduction to Early Education class? According to him such physical needs as food, rest/sleep needed to be met first.
My classroom has designated quiet area that helps children to have a chance to calm down and helps me to deal with these incidents. It is easily observable and I always know when the child is ready for learning fun. We play pretend games, puzzles or games like “I Spy”, “Simon Says”, etc. to help children develop focus and self control skills, and I found that some new games from the chapter are worth trying also.
What I liked most from reading this chapter was a conclusion where the author quotes researcher’s opinion that the child who failed the marshmallow test is far from being doomed and that “inhibition has a downside…” That conclusion had greatly balanced the whole chapter.
Also I put to check Tools of the Mind curriculum on my To Do list:)
Feelings and the ability to resolve conflict is difficult for adults never mind children! The ability to evaluate, decipher and express emotions in ways that are healthy and productive can be challenging for both and the inability to do so can help to create a toxic environment. When there is a situation that needs clarifying, whether it is hurt feelings or an argument between children (or adults for that matter!), the best thing I agree we can do in our classroom is to help the child to gain perspective by identifying the problem and then assist them where necessary in the steps it takes for them to build up their problem-solving skills. When children first begin with us in our classroom, we work closely with them so that they begin to learn to “use their words” to communicate and solve their problems with their friends. This will often include one child letting another child know how they are feeling. If a child is new to speaking their feelings or seems to not fully understand the effect their actions have had on another, we will ask them to clarify them and to explain what their meaning was. As they become older, they do this automatically and will often encourage younger children to do the same. I love hearing from our parents when they tell me their children are using our way of solving their problems at home, and that their child is expressing how they feel to others and not keeping it inside. I think if children can continue to express themselves and be direct with others in their feelings they will continue to have healthy relationships with others. I believe this kind of perspective taking is key in helping them to succeed in interpersonal relationships as adults.
We have a child in our school “O”, just turned 5, who is incredibly imaginative, articulate, an expert on dinosaurs and sharks. He has loads of charisma and the kids love him. He wields lots of power among the boys. He is an only child and his parents are pretty busy. I know that limits are not enforced very much at home. This child, though he has improved greatly, has a difficult time sharing. He tends to hoard things that he really likes and is literally incapable of comprehending that it isn’t fair that he has all the mobile wheels, (or whatever.) “But I need them!” he will say. He is also fairly manipulative and can often con or coerce other kids to do what he wants or give him what he wants. He is so competent in many ways but this one area of sharing and I think perspective taking is just beyond him right now. I think he will eventually get this skill but there are moments when I am not sure. We do lots of talking, we are pretty flexible but basically, if he does not get his way there are lots of heartfelt tears. I have gotten the Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown book called “How to be a Friend.” I think sometimes it can take a long time to learn certain skills. This child does have lots of compassion and kindness. It’s just when he wants something that he cannot/will not see beyond himself.
In regard to focus and self-control, and with K. While I think that Galinsky's book is great, I think we have to take all the info into perspective. "k" definatley needs services and already seems to have a prelim diagnosis as far as I can see. But what we do have to remember is that Galinsky's work deals with typical children. We can't link these activities with children who obviously need outside help. They can enhance a centers' operation and curriculum, but won't fix problems that need special assistance from trained sped professionals.
I feel self control and perspective taking are essential skills for a child to learn. In the book Gakinsky states that empathy is evident even during infancy. I have one child in my group that seems to have empathy for every child in the class. When ever a child cries he gives them a toy or rubs their back and says, "shh don't cry" in a gentle voice. In my classroom we talk about feelings in the most basic way. In that type of environment I feel it helps to promote perspective talking and also empathy.
I have noticed that not having self control and hinder a child in drastic ways. In our first group meeting I talk about a young child that lacked self control. He constantly cried and could not be bothered my anyone else but me. Since talking to everyone I have worked hard with this child to help him attain more focus and self control. During circle time he has great focus and loves to learn. Helping him focus on this he like to do and play with has helped his drastically.
In my daycare we do have other children that lack self control. We have toy stealing and pushing on a daily basis. The book has given my ways to deal with these situations and I am very grateful.
I agree with Stacy Allen, after reading this as I posted in my Ah Hah! moment, you really have to be able to put yourself in the child's shoes. It is very easy just to react by what your mood is. As a teacher you always have to gauge your mood and see where you are, it is a great idea to self check before reacting. It is very hard to understand and fix problems when you do not understand what is going on with yourself. I also agree that perspective taking is one of the most important life skills to learn, and after reading this book it has just confirmed my belief and shown me other ways it actually helps. Even things like understanding what your teacher is asking of you. It is a life skill that even as adults you must continue working on.
The other day I was sitting on the floor playing with a couple of the children when I had an "Aha! moment!". There were two 2 year olds (C and W) and a 1 year old (P). The 2 year olds are really good friends; they had gone to a previous daycare together and are friends outside of school. C and W were playing with the legos building a tower together. P came over and started pushing the tower over. C then yelled at and pushed P. A few minutes later they were reading books. When P tried to take the book to see what they were looking at he again got yelled at and pushed. My initial response both times was to C and W that P is new to the room and younger so "lets be nice to him and teach him the classroom rules". While this is true, I thought back to where Galinsky said, "Before we can teach perspective taking to our children we have to learn it". I then started to think about things from their perspective. They are following the rules and they are playing nicely together. Here is this other child intruding in on their make-believe-play and taking the toys they are using. While I was looking at this from the perspective of P I had forgotten to look at things from the perspective of C and W. Here I was trying to teach them about perspective taking when I was not fully doing this myself.
As I sat back a read some of the other blog posts I thought of a new child in my classroom. I had two interviews with him and the mother before he started, and she mentioned how he had a hard time separating from her. She mentioned that he would just cry and cry and cry. I told her it was normal for all children new to childcare. Every time she dropped him off, of course he would cry. The first thing out of her mouth was " don't cry, your not a baby... or see the baby isn't crying." She would proceed to use such words every time at drop off. Other times she more or less just puts him in the building not even bringing him to our room, or taking off his coat. She seemed to busy to care that he was stressed or uncomfortable with the new situation. This made me think about perspective taking. She is not seeing his perspective so how could she be setting him up or helping him to learn others perspectives. I plan to add some perspective taking to my next newsletter.
Although I think I am a fairly empathetic person, I realize that I also have trouble inhibiting my own knowledge, and therefore may have trouble understanding how someone else is thinking about something differently. In my own life this shows up most often in discussions about politics! To help children in the classroom hear another point of view, we use a "Talking Stick", where when the person holding the talking stick has the turn to talk, the other person listens. The talking stick is passed, and that person gets a turn to talk. It even helps the teacher hear the various points of view, and be able to clarify as the discussion goes along. Too bad we don't use a talking stick at
Thanksgiving dinner at my brother in law's house!
Post a Comment