Galinsky’s book was directed at parents, and certainly our programs are only part of the puzzle in supporting children’s development of the seven essential skills. What are some effective ways to make these perspectives and practices available to the families of children in your program? What are things you have done (or are contemplating doing) that make a difference beyond the four walls of your program?
20 comments:
Family Issues
Since I primarily work with children 3 yrs old and under "Family issues" are usually my only outside issues. Being a private home daycare I am fortunate to have parents who ask questions and are eager to learn/try new ways to help with their children's fast growing abilities. I believe family values have been compromised with the absence of time.Simply sit down and have family dinner TOGETHER without distraction. I try to emphasize to take the time to actually listen to what the kids are saying , to ask questions about EVERYTHING and allow them time to think , respond and find their own solutions. To communicate with rich vocabulary not baby talk. To enjoy the discovery while they are a part in it. To stop doing everything for their children and to be there while they learn to do it for themselves . Please "STOP" and allow them the time to try and accomplish tasks for themselves. Most parents are so busy that they do not have time to see that sacrificing a bit of time now would lead to an efficient/effective path later.
So many of my parents in the 4 year old group are concerned about reading. I find that I am often trying to describe how it is that children learn to read. I think that the information on pages 135 - 137, describing the brain process of reading, and that the process proceeds in a series of successive steps will be very helpful in explaining what exactly the child is doing, and how to help that process at home by reading aloud, having interesting conversations, and playing rhyming games.
Always remember that when reading to children, it is so important to have the children predict what is going to happen, to complete the sentences. It is amazing how quickly they learn what is happening in a story. The other day we were reading Caps For Sale and I had only read the book once to them yet they remembered so much from the first reading. And reading stories over and over again. The repetition is so important to them. They will change if they get bored. I read to my kids or they read to me til they were just out of Jr. High for atleast 1/2 hour every night. It was a nice time for all of us and something they will remember for a life time and hope that they will instill in their own children someday.
Donna, as the owner of a family child care myself, I couldn't agree with you more. Taking the time to have dinner together, listening to your children, reading together are all so important. For outside resources, my Community and Family Engagement Council(formally a Community Parnership program) has several parent workshops each year that address different developmental stages and areas of concern. I email parents, put up fliers etc but many do not attend. It is hard for people to attend these when they are tired at the end of a long day and just want to pick up their child and go home to share some valuable family time. I am considering creating sometype of newsletter to share information that parents can look at when they have time...
Family time is such an issue for busy parents, that I think it will be helpful to share with my parents why playing board games is a good way to help children learn math skills, in the same way that reading aloud is so important for supporting literacy. We have had "Math Night" in the past, where parents and their children came to play games, and teachers explained what aspects of the games were teaching which skills, but they were not very well attended. I might try a sheet on skills and corresponding games to give out at conference time next month, as well as the title of this book!
Many times when I do my parent teacher conferences my parents are concerned about how to prepare their child for kindergarten. Many of them get letters from the school system telling them what their child should already know before they enter kindergarten. I try to express to my parents that it's important not to drill their child on skills because it will take away the fun of learning and then they will not have an interest in school and possibly become anxious about going to kindergarten. I tell them that children learn best when the learning is made fun. I suggest they tap into their child's passions and teach different skills through those interests. This builds enthusiasm for learning. Children are more apt to learn when it involves a topic that is meaningful to them. That is why our preschool curriculum is centered around the interests of the children. This is also discussed in the chapter on "Making Connections".
It is so difficult today with our hectic schedules. There is never enough time in the day to do all of the things we need to do never mind extras. I am noticing that parents forget lots of things; deadlines, activities, when their child has a day off or ½ day in Elementary School and even simple things like lunches. I know what it is like to be a busy parent so I try to not give our families extra responsibilities and things to remember. For example we have show and tell on Friday. The child can bring in an object/toy from home that begins with the letter of the week or the shape or color of the month. If the parent forgets it’s no pressure. We will go through the classroom and find an object for the child missing one. And we make it a fun search. I don’t schedule activities during the day like Mother’s Day tea (even though I think it would be lots of fun) because it is so hard for that child whose Mother couldn’t attend.
With each monthly newsletter I add an age appropriate calendar of fun things to do at home. The activities are easy, everyday things that can be done any time. They are easy ways to spend quality time with our children, even if it is for a few minutes at a time, but with no pressure. I do think I will add a section to my newsletter that focus’ on a topic of interest. It might be choking hazards, sun safety, finding developmentally appropriate toys or anything that seems important at the time. I find that I discuss these important topics one on one with parents in our daily conversations but not as a group. By adding it to our newsletter I might find someone else that was interested in the topic.
Jane mentioned that many parents are wondering if their child is ready for kindergarten. Do you know what is expected from your local kindergartens? Last year I attended a program at Dean College called “kindergarten, here I come.” It was a panel of kindergarten teachers from local towns. Their definition of kindergarten readiness was “a child who is ready for kindergarten is able to communicate their needs and complete tasks, like washing their hands and putting on a coat, by themselves.” Do you feel that this is accurate? I feel that many of the points of this book would help children be ready for kindergarten if I’m defining it correctly. I also think that parents would benefit from knowing that these skills are more important than skills that are sometimes stressed, like learning letters. It might help them worry less.
Brenda mentions that parents seem forgetful with their busy schedules. I’ve noticed the same thing. We send out a monthly calendar with limited important dates, like no school days and people still miss some of the information. We’ve had many discussions on how to help parents and our staff is conflicted. If we send out email reminders, are we only making the problem worse and giving ourselves another task? What other techniques do you have for sending information to families?
We use a white board easel in our cubbie area. In the morning there is a question for children to answer with their parents. It always gives a clue to what we are doing that day. It is always interesting to listen to parents discuss the answer with their child (sometimes their answers are wrong!). We always tell the children to at least guess what they think the answer will be and we will be discussing it during the day. It is our way of not only having the parents be involved but also to get the children ‘thinking’. At the end of the day we have ‘Car talk’ on the same board to have a talking point for parents to have with their child on the way home. It helps with the answer to the question ‘What did you do today?’ It also gets some our parents to at least talk to their child about their day.
In my opinion every prospective parent should read Mind in the Making and keep it handy for reference through the years. Ideally, all parents should have these perspectives and skills pointed out to them. If those of us who are professionals in the area of early childhood education made some connections or learned some facts that we hadn’t thought about before, how would most parents, busy and focused on their own careers or the stresses of just keeping the family afloat get that knowledge?
My idea is to attach to the class’s monthly newsletter a second page devoted to this issue. First, keeping it very basic and simple, I would present each month one basic skill or an aspect of one skill. One problem would be presenting the essence of Galinsky’s ideas without plagiarizing.
Second, I would present one or two of her suggestions for encouraging that skill, especially games or activities that do not require special equipment. It might be necessary to explain briefly how this activity relates to the skill.
Third, I would suggest an activity for the parent and child to share which would help the child explore the world and would give opportunities for conversation about shared experiences. My very wise BSC English Methods teacher, Virginia Joki, constantly made the point that the most important gift we could give a child is “intellectual curiosity.” This was always in my mind as I helped my children discover their world. One activity I would suggest is one we enjoyed often, beginning when they were toddlers. I would find a stone wall to explore for as long as they were interested. I would direct them to different kinds of rocks and have them feel their various textures, talking about how rough, smooth or bumpy each was. We would talk about how warm or cold each was. We felt various mosses and lichens. We watched ants and other bugs as they went about their business. Attitudes formed on these outings have been passed down to my grandchildren!
Would this be a lot of work? Yes, at least the first time around. Would the parents read it? Probably not all would, but I find that many parents of very young children are anxious to “do it right”. However, they don’t have much direction other than from companies marketing toys, videos, etc. This would be my chance to offer positive, simple, inexpensive guidance.
Regarding parents’ forgetfulness –
I think this is just a condition of our very busy high-stress lives which we need to accept. As we only see our preschool classes on every other day, the problem is compounded. At the beginning of each month we send home both a newsletter and a calendar. The newsletter includes important upcoming events. The calendar is a piece of large construction paper with the individual child’s artwork relating to the theme of the month at the top and a calendar of important dates at the bottom. We are hoping that most parents will prominently display the artwork-calendar and consult it after they’ve lost the newsletter.
We have a white board next to each classroom door with information about what happened each day and reminders about the next class’s special events. Finally, we remind the children to remind their parents and, as much as is possible, remind the parents as we dismiss. Then, we too, end up finding an appropriate substitute for whatever one or two children have “forgotten” to bring.
I recently had an impromptu parent meeting because of Mind in the Making! I had sent out a parent letter mentioning that Sheila and I were taking this class and how much we were loving the book. I shared the link to get the Daily Kid email. Many parents signed up and the interest in/ discussions about The Dily Kid generated so many questions that I had an after school meeting for anyone interested in looking at the ebook version, watching the Marshmallow test footage ( we had talked about this in an October parent night) and just talking about some of The Daily Kid posts. I ended up lending out a bunch of our board games and my ibook. A few parents have borrowed the iBook to skim. Two have bought it. I think the format of the book makes it easy to pick up and put down. The Daily Kid emails provide just enough information to read in a quiet moment and think about "in the back of your mind" throughout a busy day. Parents have told me that they are having parking lot discussions about The Daily Kid. I love it.
And Nora, I agree with the section you highlighted re: reading acquisition. Parents are so interested in this high-stakes skill. Any useful information about reading will always be appreciated.
And Yes! Yes! Yes! to all the discussions about worried, distracted, forgetful families. I get it, though. With two children of my own and three jobs, I seem to take it day by day and am often in the embarrassing position of saying "ugh, early dismissal today" or "really? Science Fair tomorrow when I have scheduled a parent conference and have to tell our ballet teacher that girls will have to miss another rehearsal? "
As for Kindergarten readiness: a wise teacher in Falmouth once told me if children come rested and well-fed, dressed warmly and comfortably it is almost enough. If, on top of this excellent foundation they can blow their noses, put on their coats all will be well. Think about it: these are no small achievements for children, families and teachers. In a "hurry up, we're late world" a well-rested, breakfasted child is a sign that a family is managing a complicated balancing act with great success. And the child with self-care skills was given the chance to practice them! S/he was not " done for" in the name of expediency but given the precious time to practice doing for her/ himself.
Now, hopefully these children have also learned the importance of and had opportunities to wait their turn, to listen, to share and so on.
Each month I write and distribute a parent newsletter and calendar with themes and goals. The first page of the newsletter is called Parent Education. I typically do an article on child development or explaining what types of skills children are learning in the activity centers. I am thinking that next year I may use Galinsky's 7 skills, highlighting 1 skill each month. I also post the newsletter and calendar on the parent information boards in each room and on our website. We utilize photos of the children in them so they are very popular when they come out. I feel a good majority of the parents in our program do read them. I know this because if I'm a day late I haer about it.
In working with such young children I feel it is very important to keeps lines of communication open. I like to chat with each parent every day so we as adults make a connect so we can better help their child grow and prosper. I like to tell the parents what their children are capable of doing on a daily basis. I also like to show them if the situation arises. For example, on Friday a guardian arrived during a diaper change which was a perfect time to show them he could pull up his pants. I showed them how I help him help himself. I feel many children in my program have parents that do not take the extra time to let them do things for themselves.
Since reading this book I have thought I many ways I could present information to the parents. In reading Diane's post I found it great that she sends home a parent education newsletter. Every month I send home a newsletter of what the children will be doing and I feel that adding a parent newsletter to it would be great. In doing this blog it has helped me find others ways to inform parents so this learning goes beyond my four walls.
Family Issues
Yes, the book Mind in the Making is directed at parents, but is it really parent friendly? Our busy full time working parents, they sometimes do not have enough time to change extra clothes according to the season in their child’s cubbies…The book is staffed with research quotes and scientist conclusions that are definitely make sense for us professionals but is difficult and boring to digest for them.
In that prospective Nancy Ohlen’s suggestion to create a second page for monthly news letter makes perfect sense to me. This way you, a teacher/professional will be mediator in the process of acquiring the essential skills and promoting education not just your children but the parents themselves. You will be sorting out the “boring stuff” and deliver a clear concentrated message on practical suggestions for them to follow.
For myself, I, as it was mentioned by Jane Doyon, found that the best way to bring the book’s meaning to my parents is through parent-teacher conferences. Here I have their undivided attention and, to be honest, I didn’t recommend buying a book but I was pointing out for those in need to consider such important suggestions as changing evening routines, using sophisticated language, and playing board games.
Wow, what great discussion points. A few did make an impression on me. Tatiana I think I agree with questioning is this a parent friendly book to recommend. My families are under stress too as are the families of your students. If there is one thing I have learned even the most sophisticated, educated parent wants us to simplify parenting information. Choose a few simple principles for success and repeat them in different ways.I think that would be the most effective way to passs on the wisdom of this book. I run workshops at different days and times and include childcare. It is getting harder and harder to catch anyone with free time. I do a monthly newsletter and include "Tips for Parents". I try to be available for those moments at drop off and pick up for conversation and most important a sincere "How are you doing today?" One main point I make in many ways is to give your child the "Gift of your time", with weekly rituals and 15 minute "all of your attention" time.I think Oprah taught us all the power of "being present". Children really respond to those moments!
Dotti, I loved the "Car Talk" idea. That would fit in nicely with my Gift of Time, instead of talking on the phone as you drive.
A few more thoughts on this. We care so deeply for the children we serve, sometimes it gets easy to be critical of the parents.Especially if they miss deadlines, always forget important things and therefore don't make us or their child's education feel important. We really have to stop ourselves here because to be in an adversarial role with a parent is not a desirable place to be and definitely does not help the child! Instead we need to recognize these stressed parents need nurturing too. Little acts of kindness go a long way toward developing a positive relationship and partnership with Moms and Dads.
Offer to hold a baby when they are dropping off another child, hold a door for a stroller, give them that extra copy of a notice without making a face! If a parent is ill or unable to come in to the center, give them a call just to see how they are. Send those sympathy cards hand signed. Let them know that you know how hard every day can be for them.If you are a parent too, share a funny story or give a word of encouragement. Then you have built the foundation you need for the parent education. They need to know you are on their side first and not sitting in judgement to be truly receptive to new ideas.
I don't actually work with the children as I coordinate the Integrated Preschool. I plan to use tips from the book in my monthly newsletter. I think that each month I will focus on one skill and write a bit about the importance of the skill and then use a practical age appropriate tip from the book for parents to try. I find that parents may follow through if it is something easy and comes in small doses. Too much information is overwhelming. I have gotten some feedback from parents on things they have tried from my newsletter and it has been positive. I may also try to add something to my website for parents as well.
Theresa Gormley:
Your post has made me think how I could change interactions with parents for the better. Your comment was very eye opening and I hadn't thought that way. Parents do get very very stressed and I see it quite regularly, even if they think they are hiding it. It is so very important that we all recognize and nurture the stressed parent. Your suggestions about holding the door and offering a new copy without judgment are awesome. I feel I see parents judged far to often and I must admit a may be quick to judge sometimes. I have taken to heart all of your suggestions and plan to use them to help better the relationships I have the with parents of my students. Thank you for your eye opening comment.
Our children get picked up at all different times because it is a preschool with an after school program. This allows a lot of one on one time with the parents because they do not all come in at once. I like to tell them at least one little funny story and or positive thing that happened that day and we end up chatting for a few minutes. That is one of the things I love about where I work we have a great parent/teacher relationship that the parents really appreciate. It really helps me understand the child so much more!
We also have weekly news letters and put instructions or recipes of what we have done in class so they may do it at home. One that worked really well was a play doh recipe that the child and parent said they had a blast making! I know also that the parent is very busy so its great we could help them find an activity to do together :) I think it would be great if we added something like the daily kid to our news letters to get some of these great ideas home!
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