Part of the power of Galinsky’s work is sharing real-life examples of children exhibiting these essential skills (or lack of these skills). Share here children you have known that came to mind as you read Galinsky’s examples. Did your way of thinking about that child change as you read Galinksy’s words?
15 comments:
During last weeks session I mentioned a child that has difficulty "making connections". He can learn skills independently but seems to get very confused when you "change the rules". I have been working with him on learning the names of shapes. Every day I let him ring the triangle I have hanging in the room to initiate clean up time and transitions. I always ask him "What is the name of this shape? How many sides does it have? How many corners does it have?" He gets it correct every day. I played a game with the group using cards with questions. The card had a picture of two triangles and asked "How many sides on two triangles?" I thought he would be able to answer this easily. He put his finger on one side of the triangle and just started rote counting up the line. I could see that I changed the rules by changing the question that I typicallty ask him and he did not have a clue. I took his finger and manually moved it to each different side and started counting. He caught on and started counting with me until we touched all 6 sides. I just read a section at the end of the book about patterns. He has a lot of difficulty with these and I am doing a weeks unit on this topic at the end of the month. I will be trying some of her suggestions and seeing how all of the children do on this.
Promote your child's curiosity. While children are born with a drive to understand, this drive can be weakened or strengthened by what we do.
I had an experience with a child that dropped his food on the floor then got down and ate it as he said "like the doggie" Instead of correcting him we started a spontaneous discussion about the differences of people and animals. This moved on to us making believe we were doggies. I decided to make this a fun experiment which led to making card board dog houses out of boxes, face-painting, felt ears, vocalizing our needs by barks, growls and yips and concluded with eating our snack out of "dog" bowls on the floor in our doghouses. We had so much fun on this spontaneous situation while learning that people like to eat out of a dish while sitting in a chair at the table because DOGS do not sit in a chair at the table :)
When I was reading the chapter on Focus and Self Control, I immediately thought about a little girl I work with named Ariel (name changed for privacy) and got very worried for her. She is an absolutely fabulous child and gets along well with her peers. She is 4 ½ years old and will be going to Kindergarten next year. She knows all of her colors, letters, sounds, and is reading some sight words and if you took a quick look at her you would think that she was right on track. Over the course of several months though, I have noticed that there seems to be a gap in her learning and the way in which she learns. Sometimes, she will zone out especially when she is tired and you will have to call her name to get her attention. What made me worry is when we would play games together, she had difficulty doing things that I knew she could do like one-to-one correspondence. She would also have moments in which it appears she did not know things which she did before especially when the questions were asked in a different way. It also takes her a lot longer than her peers to figure out the directions of something new. Ariel’s difficulty seemed to increase as she would get tired which was mentioned in the chapter. I had a suspicion that there was some working memory issues coming into play and when I read this book, I got even more worried about her. I have already made her mom aware that I have some concerns and gave her lots of examples of my observations. So far, it hasn’t gravely impacted her learning and she would probably pass the Kindergarten screening but I do worry about her later on when learning things requires more complex thinking. She does appear to have trouble with problem solving in new situations and tends to follow and copy how others complete tasks. I know that helping kids with issues early on is key for future learning. I got some examples of games and activities from the book such as Simon says do the opposite, Memory Games, etc. We already play some games that challenge your memory for example: What is different? Bugs in a Rug (parachute game where one kid hides under and you have to figure out who is missing), and things of that nature but I am really looking for strategies and tips that any of you might have.
Stacy, I wish I had something to offer you...
In the part of the book with managing stress (p. 257), I was reminded of a very anxious young boy in our school. It was a couple months into the school year before he would leave a teacher’s side to explore the school and engage in productive play. He now comes to school with a smile and doesn’t hesitate to join in play. Last week, at snack time, while pouring his drink, the glass tipped and the water spilled on his pants. His posture immediately changed and he seemed to “shrink.” I felt like he was taking a step back. In a gentle tone, I asked him if he would like some dry clothes. His expression changed so quickly. I felt like this was a great example of social referencing. He was happy to help clean up the spill and I was thrilled to see a smile on his face.
As I continued to read the chapter, topics like temperament, parenting styles, families needing a good support system to deal with stress made me think of his family situation. They have a stressful home situation, and not much support around them. Mom seems almost frustrated that we are not having problems with her child. The book seemed to help me take a step back and consider the little pieces of this child’s puzzle.
Cases from our Own Classrooms:
Sharing real-life examples of children exhibiting these essential skills (or lack of these skills).
I wanted to share this real-life example of a 23 month old girl whom I have some developmental concerns on focus and attention . I'm not quite sure where in the book I was reading about children sorting items and how they go about this task but it brought to mind this circumstance . The toddler was alone in the play area and methodically dumped out every basket, play center etc. I calmly stated that she needed to put the toys away because she would be leaving shortly and without any fuss she put each and EVERY item back in its Correct place,. Items she wasn't sure about were carefully studied then placed , twice she self corrected herself but the amazing point for me was when she placed a musical toy in the basket and it started playing music, she retrieved the item, turned it over , found the switch and proceeded to turn off the toy and place it back in the basket. This babe was not yet 2 years old and completed the task with out flaw?? She beamed with a high five , praise and a big hug .
The chapter that talked about communicating and in particular language and literacy resonated strongly with me. I often have conversations with my fellow teachers about certain children that we have in our classes. We know which children enjoy engaging ‘extended discourse’ at home and which children are exposed to just working language. Our interactions with these children are very different. When we have conversations with the children whose homes are filled with rich language and extended discourse they are able to answer ‘big’ questions and talk fluently on a variety of subjects. Those children whose homes have a lot of working conversations have a really difficult time answering questions, having extended conversations and following what is being asked of them. When all of our parents come in for conferences we suggest reading a lot and asking questions about the stories – what do you think is going to happen, what do you see in this picture, what would you do – to engage them in richer conversations.
I liked the chapter on communication and language development. When I first started teaching preschool I worked in Quincy with an Asian population. Most of the children did not speak any English when they started school. It was a very enjoyable experience to see 3 and 4 year olds pick up the language so quickly. We recently enrolled a Portugese child in our program who knew little English. Every day he would come wash his hands at the sink in my room. The first week I would greet him verbally and he would just look at me. By the third week I would greet him and he would say "Hi". A few weeks later I would say "Hi, Joe how are you?" He'd say "Hi. I good." Last week I was not looking and I heard a voice say "Hi Diane." To my surprise I looked up and saw Joe. I said "How are you?" Joe said "I'm gonna have fun." I was so excited that he greeted me and was able to make a full sentence. I thought about the power of language especially as it pertains to non English speaking children. I thought the whole idea of the pointing and gestures as part of language development very interesting. I know that 1 day Joe was pointing to objects and asking what the word was. He always enjoys a game of Lotto and board game that have you looking at and naming objects. I would sit with him and say the name of each item and he would repeat it after me. Teaching a child English is a lot of fun and very rewarding.
On page 73 Galinsky writes about a time when her son would become furious with his little sister and have an unexpected outburst. It wasn't until she observed what was happening that she realized her daughter was not the "innocent victim that (she) had assumed". This reminds me of a situation within my own family. My son would become very upset in the car when sitting near his sister. We couldn't figure out what was going on. I used to think he wss just being overly sensative (he does have some sensory issues), until I really listened to what was going on. On longer car rides she was humming softly songs from Hannah Montanna, which drove him crazy! But she was subtle about it, humming just loud enough for him to hear, but not us! When asked about it at first she said she didn't know why she was doing it, but when we talked more she said she was bored. The problem hasn't totally been resolved, as they are siblings, but we have incorporated more "car" games into our longer rides.
Cases from our own classroom:
We have a child in our school whose dad is an inconsistent part of his life. He is an alcoholic and has struggled with addiction since youth. He lives a couple of hours away and has lost his driver’s license. His mom does what she can to help “Sam” see his dad but at the same time she feels that he cannot be trusted to care for his son for any extended period of time.
This child lacks the skill of perspective taking. He is incredibly sensitive. He often thinks he’s being laughed at when he isn’t. If someone bumps him accidentally, he is so quick to respond in anger, either verbally or physically. We do what we can to support this child. We celebrate and notice his successes. We work hard to help all the kids “use their words.” But I feel there is only so much we can do. Part of that is developmental. He is only able to develop the skill of perspective taking as much as a 5 year old can.
On p. 97 Galinsky mentions “hostile attribution bias” – “the tendency to interpret ambiguous situations as hostile when there isn’t enough evidence to be certain.” She then goes on to talk about “attributional retraining” -“helping children step back when something happens to them and make sense of the situation.” While we can start doing this in preschool, kids, and this child in particular is going to need many opportunities to practice this skill. I don’t know if that is going to happen in elementary school and beyond.
Parents have such power to enrich their children’s lives and they have such power to hurt as well. I have often thought that every high school student should be required to take a class on child rearing/child development. Talk about perspective taking! Up until this point I was mostly thinking about children’s skill of taking someone else’s perspective but it is so important for adults to take the perspective of children. In order to do that you have to know something about how children think and what they are capable of.
3. Communicating: More than just understanding language, it is the skill of determining what one wants to communicate and realizing how one's communications will be understood by others.
We had a young three who was just learning English. Her parents had already had the experience of an older child "losing her native language to America and all things American" (their words). This older daughter understands the language spoken at home but will answer only in a form of English they find difficult to understand.(their words again). Since they were determined not to let this happen again our student only heard English from her big sister and while out and about (they kept this minimal). She came to us confident, excited and with a large vocabulary in her language. Her parents told us her vocabulary was richer and fuller than her big sister's at that age. Well, after realizing another language was in use in her new school she got pretty quiet. She still seemed happy and eager o come. She played on her own, watchful, interested but alone. To communicate with me she used a lot of mime. She also had great initiative. A toy to high? She'd grab a chair. Her face was also very expressive.
The other children--- many of them--- enjoyed guessing what she was communicating. Still very few words. Need potty was about it, along with hello, good bye, thanks and No. I was getting a little worried after a few monthsand very little spoken English in class, but parents and Grandfather were pleased. They felt this showed a first commitment to her native language.
They told me not to worry She translated our stories for them. They translated back to me to see how well she was doing. The answer: remarkably well with stories! Really well. It was exciting. Still, very, very few words. We noticed that many days she would head to the office or dolls kitchen, pick up a phone and speak a torrent in her native language while playing. So fascinating.
Now she has been with us six months. She's speaking short full sentences, grammatically correct, heavily accented. Still quite a mime. Still a very expressive face. The other day she was playing with a friend--- they were in a boat with some dolls. Lots of back and forth with short sentences.
Another child came up to me and said she'd been listening in on the two.. I asked what she heard.
She said " the language I think in when I am pretending."
I said "what do you call the language we are speaking in now?"
she said "Friendship language."
I said "do you call it English?"
She said " no, but you can."
I laughed but really wanted to know what she was meant with her terms thinking/ friendship and the two very real languages from our bilingual girl.
She said: " she (bilingual child) can speak our language and another one, too."
I said" yes, she speaks English and a foreign language."
She said: "she speaks English but it is a foreign experience."
...! Wish I had that whole interchange on tape. I wrote it down as best I could at the time. Transcribing it here makes me see how many thoughts/ communications were being shared in that moment that are now lost in translation.
In our classroom, we fully support childrens ideas and passions and help them to see things from another child’s perspective. We currently have a child who enjoys wearing skirts – he does so daily! After a few days, some of the other boys/girls noticed how much he enjoyed putting skirts on and asked me why he did so. I simply told them we all have different likes/dislikes and that is what he likes and that it was okay for him to like to wear skits - and wasn’t it a beautiful skirt! They agreed and moved on with their play.
I agree with what you last said Anne – that parents have such power to enrich their children’s lives and such power to hurt as well. So true! A few years ago – probably more like ten years ago, we had a little boy in our classroom that really enjoyed playing in our dramatic play area. Like our current child, he loved to dress up in skirts and play with the babies. His father and mother were very distressed that he did not prefer to play with trucks. They didn’t want him to explore wearing skirts and playing with dolls and it was explained to them that while he was at our center, we would not limit his play in any area. One day, as Halloween approached, he said to me “I am going to be Bat man for Halloween this year – but I really, really want to be Ariel. I wish I could be Ariel!”. I told him I thought he would be a beautiful Ariel. It broke my heart! The message they were communicating to their child from their perspective was that they would only accept him if he fit their mold. Their mold of what they thought his ideas should be and not for what his own ideas actually were. I often wonder what happened to him as he got older and if his parents were ever able to support his passions whatever they may be.
A couple children in my class come to mind when reading Galinsky's book. At our first meeting I spoke of a child that lacked self control. Any time he did not get what he wanted at that very moment it was constant crying and anger. I could not help to redirect him in any way because by that point he was too upset. Since our last meeting and delving more in the book I have seen major changes in this child. I started to change the way I approached the situation. When I read on page 114 about how parent speak helps babies regulate themselves I had to try it. I changed my tone of voice and spoke in soft words. I have done this continuously and it has seemed to help him gain some self control. After reading through skill six I feel this child could have been very stressed to new experiences as well as not having the self control. I hope that being in childcare at such a young age as Fox believed will help to reduce his stresses.
It is sad that parents and people for that matter can't just accept someone for who they really are. There is no harm in letting a child dress up. Our boys at my center can be seen wearing bumble bee skirts, or playing spider man. I have one toddler boy that came in the other day wearing a Minnie Mouse hat and a princess watch. Another boy asked why he had a Minnie Mouse hat. I told him, "He likes it". The child just said, "oh". I don't think that allowing children to dress up makes them one way or another. It allows them to decide what they like and who they want to be. There is a difference between allowing children to explore and try out different things and forcing them to fit your mold.
Perspective taking really resonated with me, not only is it something I see in the class room but I feel as though it is something most adults struggle with also! It is not an easy task especially when you are involved. It is much easier to be a third party, then you can spot it right away. I have a girl E in the 5 year old class who was playing princes with the other girls and they were getting along fine. Then I hear A begin to cry, she tells me that she wants to play but E says she can only be the ugly step sister. Then E says she is playing princesses! I said okay well we can fix this E it is your turn to be the ugly step sister and A can be the princess. E's eyes got big and started to water, I asked her how that made her feel. She told me how sad it made her and then I asked her how she though A must be feeling? A light seemed to go of for E and it seems as though she was understanding empathy. I asked her how we could fix this and she said everyone can be a princess! These are really great moments where instead of apologizing you can help the child understand how to put themselves in someone else's shoes. It was great to read how important this skill is because I have always felt that way.
I agree with Annie, Galinsky's chapter on Perspective Taking resonated with the class I have this year and one 4 yr old boy in particular. If someone touches him with a gentle touch or brushes up against him he falls to the floor in a loud meltdown "He hit me!" To him this is real and goes beyond a sensory reaction. Galinsky explains that "Perspective taking is truly a social-emotional-intellectual skill." This child ha s challenges in this area and her explanation for what skills are lacking such as "inhibitory control" and cognitive flexibility on pg 71 were very helpful in understanding what things look like from his view.Not being able to read someone elses perspective can inhibit social relationships as well as the relationship between teacher and student. On pg 87 Galinsky talks of a "hostile attribution bias where a child immediately interprets ambiguous situations as hostile." Does'nt that explain alot! As teachers once we understand what the child perceives we can step in to help resolve through "attributional retraining." I think we do this all the time!
Post a Comment